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ACT 399 Church St, 4th floor, Toronto ON


Love. Sex. Intimacy. Commitment. Communication.

These are some of the essentials of relationships. Most of us have grown up with traditional ideas of what relationships should look like: the happily married, heterosexual, monogamous couple with 2.5 kids, a dog and the white picket fence. That’s not the reality for many people. As gay and bi men, we’ve redefined things in many ways, leading to fulfilling, diverse, and complicated relationships.

Exploring the physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual bonds that exist within our relationships is important, especially since HIV (the virus that leads to AIDS) continues to concern us as gay/bi men. Some of us falsely believe that being in a relationship is an effective way to avoid getting or passing on HIV. Research shows that many of us stop using condoms once we’re in a relationship or when we think someone might be boyfriend material, potentially placing our health and our partner’s health at risk. Unfortunately, love is not a very good barrier against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like syphilis or gonorrhea.

The ground rules we establish within our relationships are very diverse. Some guys may want completely monogamous relationships (where they only have sex with one partner), some prefer not to talk about the casual sex they have, and some want completely open relationships where each partner knows everything that happens sexually. Sometimes we talk about these ground rules, other times we don’t, potentially leading to unnecessary risks.

No matter how you define your relationship, it’s important to think about how you can better protect yourself and your partner from HIV and other STIs.